She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
