chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
