was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
