Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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