can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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