so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
