omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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