Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
