I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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