he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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