We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So much Jack, so little girl.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My vagina is very pro this idea
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize