id be glad to
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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