When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
