My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
