census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He better not be in your backpack
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize