You're my little dorito
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
