somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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