take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize