I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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