Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
