I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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