thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
