everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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