Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
