What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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