What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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