first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
