I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
