I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
