We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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