Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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