reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
