I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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