after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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