He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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