we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
