I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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