I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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