I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
