dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
