ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I think my vagina is haunted
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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