Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
