she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
