She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
