someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize