woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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