I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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