Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I understand Curling. That high.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
last night I used snow as a chaser
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