you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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