1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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