you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
