I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
