You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
