I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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