omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
please come you make the beer taste better
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
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