Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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