my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize