I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I need to sanitize my soul.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
