whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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