I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
