turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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