Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
