Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
